Tag Archives: fear of belonging

I am retarded right now. Hold on, before my declarations gets your hackles up, hear me out. Retard: transitive verb meaning to slow up especially by preventing or hindering advance or accomplishment. But, you might say, as I did think, why use such a loaded word. Load: noun meaning something that weighs down the mind or spirits, a burdensome or laborious responsibility. No, this is not going to be vocabulary lesson, but right now it seems really important to be clear. I am using a word that burdens the mind and spirit and provides a burdensome responsibility because I want you to know that I am currently hindering my own advance and it is of my own doing.

Why would I do that? Well, first of all because I can, and second, because I am afraid. Yep, I am afraid, so I am gonna slow this train down and ride a donkey instead. Seemed like a good idea and it came quite natural to me; that tells me it is something I am good at. But I want to admit to you that when I first did it, I didn’t do it consciously.  It wasn’t until my world began to feel small and a little bit more than scary that I noticed what I had done. I had disconnected.

Yep, unplugged from the greater vibration that does in fact provide me with more information to resolve my internal and external dilemmas. Looking back on it, I can now see how I did it. Seriously robed in black, I stepped out of my chambers up onto my bench and began judging. I scoured the gallery with the eyes and nose of a vigilant rabbit on the lookout for crazy coyotes. And employed with such responsibility you can bet I began to spot them. Low and behold, it was like I was attracting them. That is when I started to think, “Hold on here, what is really going on? How come all I can see is danger? What happened to my peace of mind?”

I love donkeys. Those of you who know me well know that I tended for years a whole herd of those brilliant, kind, and stubborn creatures; but they aren’t the best for riding. So, I am climbing off and getting back on the bus. I am going to sit up front because I want to see where I am going, but right now I am not going to drive. I am going to take the opportunity to rest and remember how to trust in the greater good that, by the way, includes myself.

The Moon is in Mercury in Aquarius today. It may help the uncomfortable feelings from the tight thinking that you may have been expereinceing lately. It is a good time to see the ways you might be attached to the Venus, Mars, Uranus stellium in Aries that is causing fear to incite anger and judgment.  Now is the time because we have a Mercury in Pisces shift coming with the New Moon solar eclipse in Neptune. It is going get emotional.  So do yourself a favor and get ahead of the pack.  Detach from the anger and judgment and intentionally align with that which resonates with the goodness in you. Feel yourself.  Feel the truth of who you really are and not what you think you should be. That is a heavy load even for a pack mule.

Get unburdened. Bring your attention to the ways you are creating a heavy load. Take a look at the map and see where you WANT to go.  Get on the bus headed in that direction. Trust that you might be in good company and that it is safe to take a snooze. Once you are well rested, it is perfectly fine to take the wheel.

In the midst of what you see as problematic, it can be difficult to recognize the opportunities. I can help you discover a new way of thinking that will assist you in managing and negotiating life’s obstacles. You will find that this new way of thinking provides you opportunities that you hadn’t previously noticed as well as affords you the confidence and desire to live your life in the driver’s seat.

Tami Satterfield, MSW, LCSW-C, NBCCH, HTP is a licensed psychotherapist who practices solution-oriented healing from a deep ecological perspective. Her specialities include hypnosis for anxiety, performance, and creativity. Sessions on-line or in Boulder, Colorado include cutting edge brain therapies that will change the way you think. Learn more at


I had a long drive early Monday morning, so I turned on SiriusXM radio which was tuned to The Bridge. I was tired, so I left it on even though the jazz station is my preference. It turns out that the Bridge plays mellow rock of the 70’s and before I knew it, I was singing. It felt quite good to sing, especially since I knew the words, but in a short amount of time I was feeling irritable, and even sad. The good sensations of singing had been overshadowed by the regretful sound of Jim Croce singing “Time in a bottle,” or the lonely cowboy sound of Don Henley crooning “Desperado.” I was confused. They were just old songs and it was so easy to sing along. But I wasn’t only hearing the music as songs, I was feeling them as they were associated with my own history. The songs were like a switch that turned on my own teenage angst of break-ups, the fear of not belonging, and the mixed-up desire to be noticed, but not seen.

My point? Pay attention to what is in your life. All of it. Pay attention to what is in your life and how you experience it. Are you experiencing what is there? Or are you experiencing a distortion of it, like me caught up in the idea of riding fences when I really prefer building bridges. Notice the vibrations you allow in your life and be sure that they support the rich and abundant life of health you want. Pay attention to how something can start out one way and end up another. Be on the look out for romanticizing your emotional experiences. Bring balance to the comfort of sweet sorrow, as well as the exuberance of joy.

And when it is appropriate, feel free to change the station. Life is about balance.

Do you want to better understand how you think?  Hypnosis is a tool that puts you in touch with the deepest part of yourself.  Once you know how you really work, it can be easier to change the way you work.  Learn more about hypnosis and Tami Satterfield at