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artwork by johnnamusing https://lightwasteland.wordpress.com/2008/09/11/call-to-a-wounded-child/

How do you write about something that people are afraid to see? How to you expose an undermining, but insidious practice? How do you change peoples’ minds? How does a civilization heal from the wounds of abuse?

Sexual abuse is a common experience for boys and girls. Let me repeat these somber words, sexual abuse is a common experience for boys and girls. One more time, sexual abuse is a common experience for boys and girls. 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 6 boys will be sexually abused, some statistics site higher incidences. With such numbers, there is a very good probability that a potentially protective adult will have a personal experience with sexual trauma. Without restoration of the abused’s traumatized system, this man or woman may struggle to cope. Their ability to protect another from abuse may be limited by post traumatic symptomolgy. Or worse they may develop defense mechanisms that promote practices of abuse in an effort to normalize their experience or process their rage.

The familial cycle of abuse is perpetual unless interrupted. Interrupt the cycle of abuse. Ask, “Did someone hurt you?” Ask,”How can I help?”

Tami Boehle-Satterfield, MSW, LCSW-C, NBBCH, HTP, a licensed psychotherapist at attentiontoliving.com has challenged herself in 2016 to post week about the unpopular topic of abuse. Learn more about Tami at attentiontoliving.com

 

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How do you write about something that people are afraid to see? How to you expose an undermining, but insidious practice? How do you change peoples’ minds? How does a civilization heal from the wounds of abuse?

“As evidenced in growing news reports and statistics gathered on college campuses, sexual violence among young adults is increasing. A 2014 report from The White House Task Force to Protect Students from Sexual Assault asserts that one in five college students experience sexual assault during their college career. While it seems that many survivors of college attacks are speaking out, ACLU numbers indicate that an estimated 95% of on-campus rapes go unreported. Attacks on campus not only impact the attacked, but reach their communities, their friends and their family members directly.  Social pressures, shame, fear of discipline, and ambiguity about what happened may keep the attacked from seeking assistance to heal, thus prolonging the experience, inflaming the symptoms, and potentially compromising healing.” sourced from Trust Yourself Hypnosis 

This is happening in your community.  What do you know about it?  What do you want to know about it?

Tami Boehle-Satterfield has challenged herself in 2016 to post week about the unpopular topic of abuse. Learn more about Tami at attentiontoliving.com

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The Sun in Sagittarius – ruled by Jupiter – is providing us a lot of light. It can make you believe in yourself if you let it. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, but if your propensity has been towards self-deprecation, it can be a bit of a shocker. The idea of believing in yourself might seem a little foolhearted or even boorish. It can even stir up a white-out of confusion that rivals the best snow blizzard. It can be hard to consider exactly what to do, if you considered yourself capable of doing anything!

This is a good problem with a simple solution. Spoiler Alert: I did say simple, but not necessarily easy. But don’t let hard work scare you; remember: you are going to believe in yourself. So how to do this? How do you get comfortable with standing in all that light that is out there right now? How do you feel just fine being seen for who you are? The way to believe in yourself is to see the truth of yourself. The whole truth and nothing but the truth. See yourself completely. See your liabilities and your assets. Notice how they do work together, albeit not necessarily for your best interest. See them in the spirit of St. Nicholas, with generosity and forgiveness. Let it be okay that you are who you are (generosity), so that it may be so much easier to feel free (forgiveness) to be who you want to be.

Go ahead and stand in the blinding light of the Sun (love) and Jupiter (forgiveness) that is abundant right now. You won’t be able to see a thing, so you will just have to trust, and I mean REALLY trust, that there REALLY is purpose in your existence.

Would you like to let go of thinking and feeling poorly about yourself? Would you like to believe that your life has meaning? Schedule with Tami and learn how to begin creating the life you want to live. Attentiontoliving.com

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On Friday we have a new moon in Sagittarius. Jupiter ruled Sag is always about doing it big and coupled with a new moon there is a good chance for taking things over the top. But before we even get to minding that, we have a hard aspect around Scorpio that involves Pluto.

Hmm, think of the Gulf oil explosion that erupted from over 5,000 feet beneath the water’s surface.  Yay, that is some impressive pressure, but don’t loose faith.  This aspect may bring up some really deep stuff, but there is good news.  There is always yang to the yin, and this aspect also provides the opportunity for transformation too, and it is followed by that sugar daddy of a new moon, to boot!  This means clearing out some really old stuff and making way for the new.

Okay, here is the scoop.  This energy will leave little room for thinking. It is likely to stir up deep feelings about old themes. These are your propencities, the stories you like to tell when you are getting ready for a pity party. You know the ones- the likes of – nobody loves me, think I’ll eat some worms. So what are you going to do? Who do you really want to be when you grow up?

Remember, even if you don’t notice this energy it is likely you will be bumping into others who do. So what are you going to do? My suggestion? Believe in yourself. Believe you can find opportunities in the obstacles of life. Believe in your purpose here. Take the struggle and pay it forward. Pay it forward in the currency of trust. Trust in your purpose and the purpose of a higher purpose.

Breathe in for 4, hold it for 2, and exhale for 6. Practice this just 3 times and let yourself have a little bit more space and time so that you can organize your mind to support the actions that provide you with the reality you want. Put a little air in your tires and get back on that bike. It can feel mighty good to be up and moving with some sense of independence and purpose as you ride off into the sunset.

Want to understand how to create more space and time in your life? Schedule at attentiontoliving.com

cat on moon
The Sun, Moon, Mercury, Saturn and Uranus form a Grand Trine in the Fire signs today. Everything is moving forward, even if it is a surprise. But I wasn’t really surprised in the wee hours of the morning when I knew that Martin was on the move. Martin was our twentysomething cat. I knew it was coming.  I knew it like the way you can feel about an medical procedure: necessary, but painful. But all that fire in the celestial sky draws in air and it is a good thing too.  I am grateful for my breath assisting me through my mourning this morning.

This is not the post I thought I would be writing today, but my life progressed. It moved forward. Martin’s passing is teaching me gratitude. That, I did not see coming, but thankfully, my short sight doesn’t undermine the lesson I am learning.

Today’s lesson: I cared for this creature boldly, saved his life twice and was with him until the end. He in turn, allowed me my competence. He graciously allowed me to care for him, to save his life, to love him. We collaborated.  He cared for me, saved my life, and loved me back.

Moving forward can sometimes feel like the end of something. It can feel that way, because it is. But you can’t move forward without putting time and space between the past and the present. It just can’t be done. No way, now how. Sorry, just stating the facts. Martin’s departure has an obvious ending, but more interesting is the promising beginning. For Martin, for me, for even you and you maybe didn’t even know Martin.

Martin’s service is greater than I can know today. I cared well for him over the years, but it pales to the over whelming gratitude I feel today in recognizing that I am losing something I love more profoundly then I even knew.

The complexity of grief is more than an attachment to some expectation about Martin and me. It is the knowing, in my bones, that I have loved and have been loved.  It is the giving over to the fear and finding my way to trust in the simplicity of the circle: beginning, becoming, ending, loss of becoming, transubstantiation of loss, rebirth, and begin again.

Hmm, it is humbling for sure.  But that too, has purpose.  It is only in humility that rebirth is born.

Move forward fearlessly. Welcome the whole catastrophe. See your life in it’s wholeness. Mind seeing it as separate or definitive. And if you like, look out the window tonight and wish Martin a safe and fruitful journey.

Ready to live more mindfully? Contact Tami and make next year the year of living consciously. attentiontoliving.com

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It is a little prickly out there. Honestly, the edges are a bit sharp. Sometimes razor sharp.  We have been dealing with these keen boundaries for a bit, sometimes honed and sometimes jagged. Either way, it is wearing on us all.

Forewarned may allow you to disarm and in this climate, that is a good idea.

I was talking with someone this morning and we were hashing through some of her concerns. She had to go abruptly and then texted me back saying, “Call me later and we can fight so more.” I had to laugh. We are friends. We weren’t fighting really, but there was an edge to our conversation.

I am thinking of ways to see around the corner of all these hard aspects without being a Pollyanna. Hey, I am tired of it too! What I do know is this: I will learn far more about myself through the things I resistant, then through the things I embrace. What am I trying to cut through anyway? Obtuse just might be the word of the week.  So with that in mind, keep in mind that things aren’t always what they seem to be.  Give yourself a little bit more space and time to respond this week.  Let it unfold a little bit.  Maybe it will work itself out and you won’t have to work so hard.  Let yourself be a little dull.  This week, you might just benefit from not being the sharpest tool in the shed.

Want to talk about this and learn how to think in a way that supports creating the reality you want for yourself?  Contact Tami Boehle-Satterfield at atttentiontoliving.com

Lexi-Staffordphoto credit http://sitmeanssit.com/dog-training-mu/madison-dog-training/articles/austin-dog-training-purebred-beagle-help-my-ears-are-too-big-for-me/

I woke a little sad this morning. I don’t know why. It happens. I think I might take it personally when the sun doesn’t shine. Fought myself and went for a run. The altitude really gets me and I only began to feel older and older and then something light happened to lighten my heavy load. John Prine provided me a little perspective. His words in my ears brought balance to my imposed suffering.

“Please don’t bury me
Down in that cold cold ground.
No, I’d druther have “em” cut me up
And pass me all around.
Throw my brain in a hurricane
And the blind can have my eyes.
And the deaf can take both of my ears
If they don’t mind the size.”
-“Please Don’t Bury Me,” John Prine

Yeah, I got big ears.  How better to feel these wonderful vibrations. Perhaps, that is as burdensome as it really is. Thanks, John.

Learn more about Tami Satterfield and how to live a joyful life at attentiontoliving.com

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Back to work! This is a short week, but it might feel mighty long. You may notice a bump up in judgment out there. People pointing their fingers, doing their best waggle to get control. Do your best to see the opportunity in the self-absorbed judge.

1. Check your look in the mirror. How much might you look just like them, without even a moment’s realization? They might be reflecting back to you some helpful information. No one wants to walk around with a piece of spinach in their teeth.

2. See it for what it is. I was waiting in a long line for fuel at the airport this morning. I know, right? The airport gas station the day after a long holiday! Well, I needed diesel fuel and only 4 of the 20 pumps were diesel. To make matters worse, they were all full and many were one to two cars deep waiting. It was a mess. I was waiting at the outside pump and the person before me had some how managed to enter the pump facing the opposite direction of the natural flow. I imagine his tank was on the left side of the car instead of the right. This caused me a great deal of distress, because I felt I needed to leave a bigger gap between our cars for his exit. This caused me to stick out into the flow of traffic in a way that occasionally provided me with disgusted looks, as folks had to make their way around my car. Even one of these looks was too many! I wanted to get out of my car and explain. And then I wanted to shout from my car window the likes of, “Yea, well why don’t you mind your own business!” Eventually another pump opened and by a great grace, the lines had dwindled enough to make it easy to move on over. So, I was in the way. I didn’t mean to be. I knew I was, but it seemed the only solution to my problem of needing diesel fuel. The good news is it prompted a vigil eye for another opportunity and allowed me to get out of the hot seat without inciting a scene.

Mind the judgment of yourself and others as it often only leads to drama – in your head and on the street. Utilize the false ideas around judgment and control for your own well-being. Past the opportunities judgment and control may inadvertently provide, let them go. Nothing worthwhile will come from them. It rarely does.

Learn to change the way you think at attentiontoliving.com

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This month will be a lot about education. Funny that it coincides with the start of school, but whether you are in school or not, you are likely going to be learning a lot this month. The Saturn transit will move into Sagittarius later this month.  The generosity of Sagittarius and its ruling planet Jupiter, will bring a good focus to life lessons. Some may be hard lessons or lessons you may have been hard-headed about learning. Some will be lessons you’ve been studying for sometime.  Whatever the lesson, this week is a good time to prepare for the coming classroom.

I have a re-occurring dream. It shows up when I am tackling a big problem. In the dream, I am back in school riding the school bus. Well, not quite riding it!  In the dream, I miss the bus and end up at school late.  Only to discover, that I didn’t do my homework. I feel terribly desperate in the dream. Riddled with self-judgment and fearful of the judgment of others. I for one am certainly am not interested in that reality, and I bet you aren’t either.

Instead, go ahead this week and get clear about what you are working on. Mind the distractions of judgement about being on time. Let yourself appreciate the pace you have been keeping. It will be easier to change your pace, if you give yourself credit for the work you have done. There is no value in diminishing your motivation with cross looks from the “teacher.” If you would like to pick up the pace, accelerate your study and get on the bus – now is the time to plan for it. If not, that is important to know and perfectly okay.

How to prepare this week: Take some time each day this week. Just a few minutes in the middle of your busy life. Use your breath to shift over to your creative side. Breathe in for the count of 4, hold it for 2, and exhale for 6. Practice this breath just 3 times, return to your normal breathing, and then let yourself go. Go within yourself and first, consider where you’d like to be at the end of this year. Let yourself really see it. It will be like a movie in your head.  You won’t have to think about it, it will just show up for you. Then, once that is clear to you, begin to see the road that takes you to this place you want to go. Look for the bus stops along the way. There are many and they run regularly, so you don’t need to worry or show up in your pajamas without your homework!

Would you like more information about how to prepare for your life lessons? Take my online workshop: Change The Way You Think And Create Your Own Reality. Register at attentiontoliving.com under the heading of workshops.

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Saturn has ruled the August sky and that is a bit unusual. Maybe when there is such drama as the Perseid meteor shower, it is reasonable to expect a serious planet, like Saturn, to step into the spot light. It might be a bit like the over-serious parent who hovers over the activities of a child’s birthday party with the sentiment of, “that is enough, somebody is going to put an eye out!”

Seriously, serious qualities have there place and sometimes a good proctor is exactly what life needs. Like when it comes time to pay the bills, change the batteries in the fire detectors, or manage the consumption of medicine. But sometimes seriousness can take itself too seriously, for too long. This month you may have been running into that, either thinking to seriously yourself or running into someone else who is. There may have been times this month where you wanted to say (or someone said to you), “Seriously, lighten up. Nobody put an eye out!”

We have a supermoon this week. That means the moon appears very close to earth. From the perspective of our work, that may mean a magnification or illumination of these very old and serious patterns. Think about the good old days and recall some of the trouble you got into. It was serious business. It may have caused you some grief. If you think about it, you might even see that this idea about responsible (with a capital R and said in a very serious voice followed by the words, “young lady or man”) is one you have carried with you all the way up to today. The good news, and isn’t it nice that there is always good news in a two sided coin, is that this is a good week for wrapping up some of that old, serious shame. It might be that whatever it is you did way back then is worthy of reconciliation and forgiveness.

This week, notice what you are feeling and then notice the shadow of judgment over your right shoulder. It might be that your past shame is casting a shadow of doubt across the confidence of your future or that it is causing you to be a shadow of yourself. It might be time to lighten up a bit, after all it may just be that no body did put an eye out. It might be time to forgive.

If you would like to discuss this, visit attentiontoliving.com and schedule an appointment today!