Archive

Mental Health

WwNKDXkI have been up since three am shaking the trees. I set my alarm based on the forecast and when it went off I turned on the outside light hoping against the odds that it wouldn’t be true, but it was.

Big, wet flakes were pouring from the night sky. I wanted to be frantic, after all what kind of a world do I live in where it snows on my gorgeous purple Foxglove – testing their spines for endurance, or the giant peony beginning to splay over, what about the hosta and don’t even talk to me about the brand new Japanese Maple with its fragile new leaves. I was off to the races.

What a cruel, cruel world. And there I was, out in it. Wet, heavy snow demanding that everything bend to its ruling. Headlight over the top of my hat, donned in a sweater and rain coat, the poor choice of snow boots when rain boots were for the job. Forget about gloves, my fingers are now worthless. Get the picture. This is still going on at 10 am, out every hour shaking off the threat.

It is not so much that it is snowing, it never lasts long here and it is pretty. It is more that it is not what I thought would happen and even knowing that it might happen, I didn’t really know what I could do about it. I felt helpless against the odds.

There is an ABUNDANCE of that out there right now: helpless against the odds. You don’t need me telling you that. We all know, and we are all tired of the reminder that there is no control. I got the memo, you got the memo, but still it bears reminders.  I can control nothing. I never could and I never will. It is impossible. Physics won’t allow for it. NO CONTROL, only influence.

The good thing about influence is that it is more powerful then control because it endures. Those staked garbage bags over my Foxglove? They are working with me to keep those stunning flowers healthy, and I am working with them by shaking off the snow they are keeping out so together we can keep on protecting my flowers. I, in collaboration with those bags, the snow, and the foxglove, am influencing a different outcome.

The opposition between Venus and Jupiter is big. There is good potential for magnifying the importance of things, letting things get blown out of proportion. If needed, re-read the first paragraph. Be mindful to that which you set an alarm. You don’t have to be alarmed and you don’t have to make it alarming. Do what you want. Create the life you want to live.

Pluto in Capricorn is squaring the opposition between Venus and Jupiter. This can likely incite the manipulative tactic of he said, she said, the dog said. This kind of communication is fraught with hostility, aggression and, I am sad to say – meant to harm.

Be mindful. Stay grounded. Remember what you want. Act in your best interest. See what happens that you like and can build on. Me? I am looking forward to seeing those wonderful Foxglove after the snow.


In the midst of what you see as problematic, it can be difficult to recognize the opportunities. I can help you discover a new way of thinking that will assist you in managing and negotiating life’s obstacles. You will find that this new way of thinking provides you opportunities that you hadn’t previously noticed as well as affords you the confidence and desire to live your life in the driver’s seat.

Tami Satterfield, MSW, LCSW-C, NBCCH, HTP is a licensed psychotherapist who practices solution-oriented healing from a deep ecological perspective. Her specialities include hypnosis for anxiety, performance, and creativity. Sessions on-line or in Boulder, Colorado include cutting edge brain therapies that will change the way you think. Learn more at attentiontoliving.com

Advertisements

ae41b5b95847b66970db2f91f8d01a9e294c1d7a

We have been operating with a stellium in Pisces that has shifted into Aries. Capricorn, Libra, Cancer, and Aries are all involved, or in other words, the Cardinal signs. The cardinal signs are leaders that like to get things done, NOW!

Capricorn is ruled by Saturn and exalted by Mars. Libra is ruled by Venus and exalted by Saturn. Cancer is ruled by the Moon and exalted by Jupiter. Aries is ruled by Mars and exalted in Capricorn. This is an abundance of energy to support change as we approach and move through the upcoming Moon cycle. You can bet your sweet bottom dollar that some will fight this.

Use this energy like the spring wind it is and clear out the old. This might be the time of throwing out old associations that are like those stray socks.  You already know to that which I am referring.  You saw a picture of exactly that vibration in your mind’s eys as you read my words. You know, those vibrations, the ones that you just don’t pair well with any longer.

Set them free to find mates that better suit them and let go of your silly sense of responsibility to be “nice.” What is “nice” about keeping a vibration around around only because it has been around a long time. How is that helpful?  Use it or loose it.  Be honest with yourself, because if you are not, that stiff spring breeze is going to blow right through you and you might end up looking silly, like the Emperor in his new clothes. You might think it is a little early for the silly season, but the climate is changing.

March 27 marches in the New Moon in Aries. Saturn, that masterminded task master master, yes I meant to say master 3 times, is involved so prepare before getting started. It is spring right?  Tend to the preparation before planting.  Check out your child-like ideas that might disable a more mature understanding of how to work smart. Practice patience, pay attention, and thoughtful decide based on the inquiry, “Now, what do I want to do?” This powerful moon cycle has the potential to clear the dust and settle old scores, because under this aspect resistance is futile. Take this next Moon cycle to go deep into your stuff and clean out the attic, basement, and the garage!  And don’t miss the flowers popping up despite the hard Earth’s energy.


In the midst of what you see as problematic, it can be difficult to recognize the opportunities. I can help you discover a new way of thinking that will assist you in managing and negotiating life’s obstacles. You will find that this new way of thinking provides you opportunities that you hadn’t previously noticed as well as affords you the confidence and desire to live your life in the driver’s seat.

Tami Satterfield, MSW, LCSW-C, NBCCH, HTP is a licensed psychotherapist who practices solution-oriented healing from a deep ecological perspective. Her specialities include hypnosis for anxiety, performance, and creativity. Sessions on-line or in Boulder, Colorado include cutting edge brain therapies that will change the way you think. Learn more at attentiontoliving.com

9c42556fc83051d5e3e170683085cd63

Artwork by Bill Sanderson, “Dna In All Living Things”

I am wishing to say one thing,
Incessantly telling another,
My faculties
Daft.
Am I slipping in my mind, forgetting
Or only now remembering?

What is that
Spilling over the earth’s edge?
A brilliant photon refracted,
Curled around a particle
Repeatedly
Illuminating The wave?

The wave!
Oh I, am zealot. A drumbeater forever
Preaching from a state of perpetual desire.
The wave! The wave!
No, not The wave! A wave.
A wave of utter realization.

Is all My life a mirror?
Is the world not dark,
Waiting blank like paper
My eternal mark, sparking the Big Bang?
Is it not forsaken,
Am I not marooned for your secret keeping?

Am I beginning?
Or only a dimming past?
Ghosting and milky,
One among a collection of shards —
A Broken sparkly
Looking glass.

You are not the moon
Towing me under again.
The clouds don’t know Me,
Dumbly,
Passing over Me.
Or is it Me, deaf?

No, I pray beneath my finely woven Hat,
Beached in defiance of the sun’s light,
Begging notice from the clouds.
A seagull
Crying
What about Me? Me? Me?

Headlong against an amniotic wave.
I am shelled in determination
Without Grace.
My feet claw for the sand.
When, just this morning
Did I become so crabby?

Generation after generation
Woven
Wrung out like a tight rope
Now unraveling,
Spilling a design.
Blood bursting through arduous veins.

Nerves on end, spidering outwards,
Grasping at sticky webs.
Thoughts spinning in circles,
Why, why, why?
Rorschach,
Instead of The perfectly replicated double helix chains.

i am me watching Me.
i am not a bottled message of chemicals
Reacting
As if
The Earth’s turning
Was an unforgiving mother shaking me loose.

Instead,
i am collected in
The smooth sand sound
Shifting from particle to wave,
Wave,
Wave.

I am a quantum entity.
Barely,
Hardly, to almost no degree,
A part of the equation,
And still
i am.

March 11, 2017

 

The-moon's-gravitational-force-Artwork by T. Boehle “The moon’s gravitational force”

I am in a plane headed out to a place far enough away that the fastest means of transportation is the air. I going somewhere else to re-boot, relax, and literally get a new perspective. There was a time when doing such involved wee morning hours of cooking a fabulous picnic and loading up in a horse-powered buggy destined for the countryside.

It wasn’t easy getting here. The morning had an interesting start. The seemingly near Chinook winds kept me up most of the night, whipping in through the cat door. The flap of it flapping and papers blowing about our bedroom all night. It was spooky. In and out of sleep, the sounds reconciled in that half-wit state as haunted. In the morning I woke tired, fully awakened by an eight foot by four foot painting crashing off the wall, smashing its frame to smithereens. The bus to the airport made unexpected stops and at the airport my boarding pass wouldn’t scan so, despite my TSA-Pre standing, it was back to check-in again for a new pass. We raced through the airport and salvaged the plan of eating breakfast at Root Down by getting carry out for the plane, and arrived just in time to board when someone over the load speaker said our flight was delayed and hour and a half!

Hmm. My resources are low. I think of my kids, get out my phone and text them: “Flight delayed. Be safe. I love you.” I am tired and, honestly, the fitful night’s sleep provided the perfect backdrop for thinking about scary stuff despite the fact that there wasn’t really anything more scary then Colorado winds. But what about the painting? That is weird and, furthermore, that painting signified to me a deep understanding of myself, the universe, and me in the universe. And, really? The boarding pass doesn’t scan and then the plane has mechanical problems?

But I have done this before, gotten myself worked up about the secret meaning of things. There is a big difference between intuition and anxiety. Yes, it does seem my ability to get where I am going is slowed, and whenever the expected becomes the unexpected the cognitive brain sets about to solve the mystery, and usually from the worst-case scenario. All, of course, in an effort at self-preservation. And, ironically, the impetus for that can, and after years of practice, does bring my attention to the goodness in my life. The wind, stirring things up, relentless to not let lying dogs sleep. I love that fury and determination. The painting jumping off the wall and crashing straight to the floor like a declaration, “Remember there are no happy chances, only the infinite opportunity to create them.” The resistance met at getting to the gate, the delayed plane all reminders of three things:

  1. There is no control. Control is an illusion.
  2. Influence is the powerful force behind the smoke and mirrors of control.
  3. Things aren’t always what they seem to be.

I will be on terra firma soon enough, and I trust I will have a deeply satisfying experience, because once I get out of my own fearful way I can see that I can always be heading in the direction of where I want to be. Where I am isn’t where I am headed; it is only from which I am starting.

The March 12th Full Moon in Virgo is pulling a lot of big pieces together and bringing them down to Earth. It is a good vibration for healing some stuff way out there in your past. Think about it this way, you can think about yourself or you can think about your self as a part the whole. This can be very enlightening. Mind getting spooked, trust that it is not always and might be nearly never about you alone. Find the value where you can, re-evaluate your route, and keep on keeping on.


In the midst of what you see as problematic, it can be difficult to recognize the opportunities. I can help you discover a new way of thinking that will assist you in managing and negotiating life’s obstacles. You will find that this new way of thinking provides you opportunities that you hadn’t previously noticed as well as affords you the confidence and desire to live your life in the driver’s seat.

Tami Satterfield, MSW, LCSW-C, NBCCH, HTP is a licensed psychotherapist who practices solution-oriented healing from a deep ecological perspective. Her specialities include hypnosis for anxiety, performance, and creativity. Sessions on-line or in Boulder, Colorado include cutting edge brain therapies that will change the way you think. Learn more at attentiontoliving.com

packmule
I am retarded right now. Hold on, before my declarations gets your hackles up, hear me out. Retard: transitive verb meaning to slow up especially by preventing or hindering advance or accomplishment. But, you might say, as I did think, why use such a loaded word. Load: noun meaning something that weighs down the mind or spirits, a burdensome or laborious responsibility. No, this is not going to be vocabulary lesson, but right now it seems really important to be clear. I am using a word that burdens the mind and spirit and provides a burdensome responsibility because I want you to know that I am currently hindering my own advance and it is of my own doing.

Why would I do that? Well, first of all because I can, and second, because I am afraid. Yep, I am afraid, so I am gonna slow this train down and ride a donkey instead. Seemed like a good idea and it came quite natural to me; that tells me it is something I am good at. But I want to admit to you that when I first did it, I didn’t do it consciously.  It wasn’t until my world began to feel small and a little bit more than scary that I noticed what I had done. I had disconnected.

Yep, unplugged from the greater vibration that does in fact provide me with more information to resolve my internal and external dilemmas. Looking back on it, I can now see how I did it. Seriously robed in black, I stepped out of my chambers up onto my bench and began judging. I scoured the gallery with the eyes and nose of a vigilant rabbit on the lookout for crazy coyotes. And employed with such responsibility you can bet I began to spot them. Low and behold, it was like I was attracting them. That is when I started to think, “Hold on here, what is really going on? How come all I can see is danger? What happened to my peace of mind?”

I love donkeys. Those of you who know me well know that I tended for years a whole herd of those brilliant, kind, and stubborn creatures; but they aren’t the best for riding. So, I am climbing off and getting back on the bus. I am going to sit up front because I want to see where I am going, but right now I am not going to drive. I am going to take the opportunity to rest and remember how to trust in the greater good that, by the way, includes myself.

The Moon is in Mercury in Aquarius today. It may help the uncomfortable feelings from the tight thinking that you may have been expereinceing lately. It is a good time to see the ways you might be attached to the Venus, Mars, Uranus stellium in Aries that is causing fear to incite anger and judgment.  Now is the time because we have a Mercury in Pisces shift coming with the New Moon solar eclipse in Neptune. It is going get emotional.  So do yourself a favor and get ahead of the pack.  Detach from the anger and judgment and intentionally align with that which resonates with the goodness in you. Feel yourself.  Feel the truth of who you really are and not what you think you should be. That is a heavy load even for a pack mule.

Get unburdened. Bring your attention to the ways you are creating a heavy load. Take a look at the map and see where you WANT to go.  Get on the bus headed in that direction. Trust that you might be in good company and that it is safe to take a snooze. Once you are well rested, it is perfectly fine to take the wheel.


In the midst of what you see as problematic, it can be difficult to recognize the opportunities. I can help you discover a new way of thinking that will assist you in managing and negotiating life’s obstacles. You will find that this new way of thinking provides you opportunities that you hadn’t previously noticed as well as affords you the confidence and desire to live your life in the driver’s seat.

Tami Satterfield, MSW, LCSW-C, NBCCH, HTP is a licensed psychotherapist who practices solution-oriented healing from a deep ecological perspective. Her specialities include hypnosis for anxiety, performance, and creativity. Sessions on-line or in Boulder, Colorado include cutting edge brain therapies that will change the way you think. Learn more at attentiontoliving.com

63585063210991924835972972_cover

I read an article today about Benjaman Kyle, a man who really forgot who he was. It was timely to a recent conversation where a fellow healer asked me, “Have you forgotten who you are? I think you might have.” She continued, “Remember when I forgot who I was? And I didn’t even know I forgot? And all I kept thinking was that I didn’t know who I was anymore. And you said, ‘Maybe you aren’t forgetting who you are as much as you are remembering better who you have always been.'” “I said that?” I asked her. “Yes, you did. And you were right. So maybe I am right in suggesting that you have forgotten who you are, when really what I mean to say is that you are feeling confused, because you are now remembering better who you have always been.” I thought about what she said, “Maybe you are right,” I said and she said back, “Maybe you are right.”

Jeez! That could be confusing if it didn’t make sense.

Just a week into December and Mercury is headed towards retrograde in Virgo. The Sun and Saturn in Sagittarius squared the Moon, Chiron, and Neptune in Pisces and there is a stellium in Capricorn. If you had any fantasies about who you really are, you might be feeling toasty warm with your feet to the fire. Things are getting real. As Dorothy was told, “You aren’t in Kansas anymore.”

The pieces are sliding into place, whether you like it or not you are seeing yourself more clearly. The Moon will hit Aries, and Venus will enter Aquarius today with Jupiter opposing Uranus. This may allow you to shift out of fantasy into reality with creativity on your side. In other words, it can be interesting, fun even, to see who you are. Surrender Dorothy! Surrender to the true nature of yourself. Do what you will with the flying monkeys because there is no place like home. Going home is a remembering of who you are; sometimes on the way there you might think you have forgotten who you are, but you are really remembering better who you have always been.


In the midst of what you see as problematic, it can be difficult to recognize the opportunities. I can help you discover a new way of thinking that will assist you in managing and negotiating life’s obstacles. You will find that this new way of thinking provides you opportunities that you hadn’t previously noticed as well as affords you the confidence and desire to live your life in the driver’s seat.

Tami Satterfield, MSW, LCSW-C, NBCCH, HTP is a licensed psychotherapist who practices solution-oriented healing from a deep ecological perspective. Her specialities include hypnosis for anxiety, performance, and creativity. Sessions on-line or in Boulder, Colorado include cutting edge brain therapies that will change the way you think. Learn more at attentiontoliving.com

dali-metamorphosis

Metamorphosis of Narcissus 1937 by Salvador Dalí 1904-1989

Things are moving fast behind the scenes right now. You might notice some sensations of this seeping in. It feels uncomfortable. It feels scary. And just so you know, closing your eyes won’t make it go away. In fact just the opposite is true.

I had a dream recently, really it was a nightmare. In the dream, I was met at every turn with perversity. And then I came to a crossroads of sorts. There were two doors. I had two choices. The door to my left was familiar to me. I knew it led to a place that went deeper and deeper into itself. I knew that if I walked the halls of that place, it would morph from a school, to a hospital, to a hotel. I knew that in that place I was always too late and then I always had to wait. That place was always changing, but it was always the same. In my dream I thought, “That place goes no where.”

The door to the right was substantial. It was made of solid old growth oak. It looked inviting, but as I got closer something didn’t feel right. In fact something felt terribly wrong. I turned around and looked from where I had come. That was no good either. The streets behind me were apocalyptic. I was stuck. I couldn’t go to the left, or the right, and I certainly couldn’t turn around.

I am in hell, I thought and the only possible way out was the way I was afraid to explore. I breathed deeply and carefully pushed the big door open just a crack. Yep. As I suspected it was utter and complete darkness, an eternity of pitch black. I looked back to the infernal streets filled with smoke from the fires of hell. There were malevolent people on the hills and zombies in the streets. I was at some edge of darkness. What choice did I have?

I stepped inside the door into the nothingness. There was nothing but nothing. There was nothing at my feet, I hovered in the blackness. Without something beneath my feet it was impossible to advance forward. My heart was racing and my breath was labored. “Breathe,” I told myself. “You can do this,” I counseled even in my sleep. I told myself, “Look into the darkness. Let yourself adjust and see what you can see.” And so I did.

Was there no hope?  Was I to be completely impoverished?  In the utter blackness, it was a horror show. It couldn’t have been worse if it had been Hieronymus Bosch’s Last Judgement. In my dream, I was paralyzed by the fear of some pointed reckoning that seemed to have an infinite trajectory. “Open your eyes,” I told myself. “If you want out of hell, open your eyes.”

The moon has shifted from Scorpio and into Sagittarius. In the thick of it there is always hope of a promising new reality. If the Scorpio energy has lured you deep into your own darkness, the New Moon in Sagittarius can signal you out into our own light. Pay attention with the acute senses of the blind, and then open your eyes to the information you have afforded yourself. See where you are. Find your feet even in the darkest of nights. Get good balance for perspective on your future.

There is no going back. There never was. The past only turns within itself and the future is only an idea of something not yet known. Don’t make it a nightmare. Don’t be an addict. Don’t hang out at crossroads for long. You can have more than two choices. Open your eyes to the dawn of this day. This is where you live your life. Not in the damnation of your past, not in the fear of the unknown future. Right here. Right now. Open your eyes. Open your eyes and move forward.


In the midst of what you see as problematic, it can be difficult to recognize the opportunities. I can help you discover a new way of thinking that will assist you in managing and negotiating life’s obstacles. You will find that this new way of thinking provides you opportunities that you hadn’t previously noticed as well as affords you the confidence and desire to live your life in the driver’s seat.

Tami Satterfield, MSW, LCSW-C, NBCCH, HTP is a licensed psychotherapist who practices solution-oriented healing from a deep ecological perspective. Her specialities include hypnosis for anxiety, performance, and creativity. Sessions on-line or in Boulder, Colorado include cutting edge brain therapies that will change the way you think. Learn more at attentiontoliving.com