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Interpersonal Relationships

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artwork “Lovers in the moonlight” by Marc Chagall

How many sentiments

Tender and soft-hearted

Fit on a sheet of red paper

Cleanly cut

After folded in two?

How many long and deliberate strides to shear out our hearts?

The crisp cardboard rasp

The blade sounding

Against the vellum

Yielding and permissive to measured cuts.

How many pecks between us these 12054 days?

Pink candied smooches

Boxed,

And blushed rosy

Our sweet discontent?

How many white moon faced nights

Did, by chance,

Round us up with scissored bodies and

Laced our swelling hearts

In fire and in fate?

Oh,

I can not say,

The numbered times did hands

Pen fancy whorls upon the naked breast

And finger ringlets of hair.

But alas,

I do reckon one white parcel

Knotted in fat, red yarn

That unwrapped

Such a child’s faith.

February 14, 2017

originalThese days it may seem as if it has never been truer that the probability of survival is equal to the angle of arrival.  While it may have been said that flying is the second greatest thrill known to humans, landing is the first!

We have a lunar eclipse pending in Leo tonight. I am looking forward to it. I could use a lift from the same old news and Leo is just the creative entrepreneur I want when I am figuring how to get around the turbulence of my old patterns and history.

Saturn is aspected in Sagittarius for this eclipse. Argh!  What a drag.  My “around the world, free as a bird, solo flight” will now be chaperoned with the harsh  judgments of a “straighten up and fly right” kind of bird.  This is going to require some major wind beneath my wings in order to make any progress.

I hear you, why is there always a drag? I know, who wants a drag?  But that drag serves purpose in the aerodynamics of ascension.  It creates a necessity to welcome one thing while embracing another. The trajectory forward is found through the resistance of the two opposed energies. The resistance can provide balance until we have momentum in what can be, the choppy blue yonder.

Mind feeling that resistance as a force against you, particularly one that you imagine you need to defend yourself from.  Instead, remember that the resistance is going to allow you to move forward.  It is not what you think.  It is not holding you back, it is there to get you up and going!

This month, consider practicing in tandem with the resistance and take off and land from the high ground.

  1. Change your mind to feel comfortable with the benefits of resistance.
  2. Mind thinking about changing other people’s minds until you have changed yours.
  3. Get clear AND curious (no judgment) about what you want.
  4. Simotaneously respect your ideas and those that seemingly oppose your ideas.
  5. Find the tension between the seemingly opposed and utilize that tension as common ground for take off and landing.

Afterall, flying is undoubtedly an adventure in discovery, but a good take off and a safe landing can’t be beat.


In the midst of what you see as problematic, it can be difficult to recognize the opportunities. I can help you discover a new way of thinking that will assist you in managing and negotiating life’s obstacles. You will find that this new way of thinking provides you opportunities that you hadn’t previously noticed as well as affords you the confidence and desire to live your life in the driver’s seat.

Tami Satterfield, MSW, LCSW-C, NBCCH, HTP is a licensed psychotherapist who practices solution-oriented healing from a deep ecological perspective. Her specialities include hypnosis for anxiety, performance, and creativity. Sessions on-line or in Boulder, Colorado include cutting edge brain therapies that will change the way you think. Learn more at attentiontoliving.com

 

 

 

 

 

screen-shot-2013-12-02-at-09-28-43-554x523Parting is such sweet sorrow. There is so much desire in the ending of something. The desire to create something new. The desire to return to something unfinished. The desire for change. Desire is the catalyst for creation. When desire operates from a space of love the creation is charged with great significance and embodied with both humanity and divinity.

The planets are aligned under the new moon cycle to provide you with great wisdom at the turning over of time from 2016 to 2017. Use this as an awakening for a great and deliberate desire to make something that makes the world spin steadily on her axis. Deliver into the New Year a perspective that inspires.

That’s all. That is it. That is all I have to say. Go on now. Go do it.

I’ll see you doing it in 2017. I will be beside you doing it, too!  Together we’ll take that cup of kindness for all of auld lang syne and make a meaningful future of it.


In the midst of what you see as problematic, it can be difficult to recognize the opportunities. I can help you discover a new way of thinking that will assist you in managing and negotiating life’s obstacles. You will find that this new way of thinking provides you opportunities that you hadn’t previously noticed as well as affords you the confidence and desire to live your life in the driver’s seat.

Tami Satterfield, MSW, LCSW-C, NBCCH, HTP is a licensed psychotherapist who practices solution-oriented healing from a deep ecological perspective. Her specialities include hypnosis for anxiety, performance, and creativity. Sessions on-line or in Boulder, Colorado include cutting edge brain therapies that will change the way you think. Learn more at attentiontoliving.com

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What do you want? You want the moon? Just say the word and throw a lasso around it and pull it down. You can have the moon. The moon, a pony, what are we talking about here? Are we talking about what you want or are we talking about what you fantasize about wanting.

Hm, big difference.

This week is a good time to sort some things out, especially where the desire for love is concerned. Remember love? The truth of love is way bigger than the moon. It has a far greater reach then the child within you ever imagined, and yet love can be as easy eating candy.

The Moon and Venus are conjunct in Scorpio and trine Neptune in Pisces while Pluto is in Capricorn. Let this aspect support an interesting perspective as you consider your heart’s desire. Notice your typically fixed pattern of behavior in response to the stimuli of “love.” Is your response driven by your sensitivity? Is it something you can feel right now? Or is it more motivated by your practicality? Is it something you think about?

Does it compel you into a mental and emotional frenzy around the acquisition of it?  Some might say this could feel like walking a tight rope. And some might think that this compulsion threatens them with a fall from grace. And you know what happens when a person thinks they will fall.

This week, bridge the gap between what you think, feel, and desire. How can you bring the three experience together in a way that is useful to you?  It might go something like this:

I want to feel connected.  I want to feel like I belong where I am. I know that feeling. I think it is useful and it compels me to seek it out, finding a thread of it here and length of it there. Pretty soon my instinct for roping it in is pretty good.

Sort it out. What do you want? What do you fantasize about? Can you make them come into balance?


In the midst of what you see as problematic, it can be difficult to recognize the opportunities. I can help you discover a new way of thinking that will assist you in managing and negotiating life’s obstacles. You will find that this new way of thinking provides you opportunities that you hadn’t previously noticed as well as affords you the confidence and desire to live your life in the driver’s seat.

Tami Satterfield, MSW, LCSW-C, NBCCH, HTP is a licensed psychotherapist who practices solution-oriented healing from a deep ecological perspective. Her specialities include hypnosis for anxiety, performance, and creativity. Sessions on-line or in Boulder, Colorado include cutting edge brain therapies that will change the way you think. Learn more at attentiontoliving.com

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We have a New Moon in Libra on Friday.  Jupiter is conjunct the Sun and Moon while Saturn in Sagittarius sextiles Jupiter and the New Moon. Under this aspect you may have greater ease influencing your future. Your fortune cookie might read something like, “Person who believes in a bright future, will brighten the future.”

What are you thinking these days? What do you belief about yourself? What are you thinking about yourself in relationship to others? Under this influence of a New Moon in Libra with Jupiter conjunct the Sun and the Moon, it is like your dad and mom are all for your grandpa getting you a pony. Everybody is happy!

If you could have “your” pony, what kind of a pony would you want? This is a time to be extra thoughtful about what you want. Think about it. What do you want? Mind considering what you don’t want, or you could end up disappointed. Clear out any unhelpful ideas. If it is possible to have your heart’s desire, do you really want to doubt it? If it is at all possible to find satisfaction, do you really want to believe that satisfaction isn’t for you?  If love is out there for the taking, do you really want to pass it up?

Decide what you want. Get out of your head and drop into your body. Feel how much you want to feel Jupiter’s optimism grow in you heart.  Breath it in and let it grow.  Consider that the Sun and the Moon only want you to flourish. Feel the support of the multiverse. Really feel those sensations of great possibility.  What do they feel like in your body?

Mirror those sensations outward and allow for them to be mirrored back to you. Open up to the greatness of yourself and be as generous as Jupiter sharing yourself with others. Strengthen your relationships through what you can do. A kind word to the person checking your groceries; hold the door for another; assist someone struggling with a cumbersome parcel. Forget about what someone else can do for you. See what you have to offer others.  Leave room for it to eventually be mirrored back to you.

Take this opportunity to build a healthy foundation for the reality that you want to create over the next 30 days. This time, let your desire construct a foundation that is made sturdy by the truth of who you really are and not what you fear. Let the foundation be made in the trust that if  you love yourself you will attract others who love you too.  Then see what you’ve built for yourself in 30 days time.


In the midst of what you see as problematic, it can be difficult to recognize the opportunities. I can help you discover a new way of thinking that will assist you in managing and negotiating life’s obstacles. You will find that this new way of thinking provides you opportunities that you hadn’t previously noticed as well as affords you the confidence and desire to live your life in the driver’s seat.

Tami Satterfield, MSW, LCSW-C, NBCCH, HTP is a licensed psychotherapist who practices solution-oriented healing from a deep ecological perspective. Her specialities include hypnosis for anxiety, performance, and creativity. Sessions on-line or in Boulder, Colorado include cutting edge brain therapies that will change the way you think. Learn more at attentiontoliving.com

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Freud proposed that we, the dreamer, are all the players in our dreams. Each player representing a different part of the self, demonstrating to us our internal workings around a particular problem. You don’t have to wait to dream to reveal to yourself the ways you might be defending against yourself.

We have a full Moon lunar eclipse in Pisces on Friday with Mars in Sagittarius squaring the Sun and the Moon. The plot of that story goes something like this:

A person begins something new that is meant to expand their “love” horizon. Now before you think this post is not for you because you are not looking to expand your love horizons, let me respectfully correct you. We are all always looking for love. Remember the 6 different kinds of love that compose the vibration of love?  If you need a refresher, click here.  And now back to our story.

A person begins something new in order to expand their love connection.  A new way of thinking will likely be the foundation that the person will lean into while building the new thing that is intended to provide them with an expanded love connection. (If you are confused as to why the foundation of a new beginning requires a change in thinking, see me after class.) So the person is beginning anew, and the person imagines that this anew will provide them meaningful structure to their life. The way a relationship to anyone or anything can do – even a relationship with your self. But in this story the person struggles to prevail. They are caught between what seems like common sense and what seems like desire. Seem familiar?

Who are you in this story? Are you the main character, the one struggling to prevail over the deception of the antagonist?  Or are you the antagonist, the one fueling the battle between common sense and desire? Could you be the character of influence, the fool, the one who challenges, but ultimately supports the main character’s strife? Are you a sidekick, a good old pal, but just along for the ride? How might you be working against yourself in the story line and how might that be aiding you?  Rest assured that there is some faction of yourself fighting you. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, after all dissension in a group can affirm that a decision was made with all the information and not just the information you wanted to see.

Write down what you are wanting to create. Then list your struggles to prevail, noting with each struggle the considerations to common sense and desire. Now, cast yourself in all the parts. Any victims or martyrs lurking beneath?  Are there any super heros?  Are there roles that are indifferent to the struggle, but interested in the journey?  How does this story best resolve itself if the main character succeeds and feels satisfied about their success?  Might the story take an expected turn of events?

During the Full Moon, let your main character throw a spotlight on your fears and insecurities and look to your unconscious mind to bring out other parts of yourself to help you overcome the adversity you might be facing. Let this be an opportunity to marry your beliefs to your desires in a way that you can journey forward in your own story.  This full moon, forgive yourself for being human and seemingly falling short of your dreams.  It is never to late to edit!


In the midst of what you see as problematic, it can be difficult to recognize the opportunities. I can help you discover a new way of thinking that will assist you in managing and negotiating life’s obstacles. You will find that this new way of thinking provides you opportunities that you hadn’t previously noticed as well as affords you the confidence and desire to live your life in the driver’s seat.

Tami Satterfield, MSW, LCSW-C, NBCCH, HTP is a licensed psychotherapist who practices solution-oriented healing from a deep ecological perspective. Her specialities include hypnosis for anxiety, performance, and creativity. Sessions on-line or in Boulder, Colorado include cutting edge brain therapies that will change the way you think. Learn more at attentiontoliving.com

 

 

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I am getting this out early this week to give you plenty of time to find the thing that supports you. The moon is in Taurus and that is something you can count on. Like the steady pull of gravity, sometimes something so strong and reliable can feel like a drag, but you’ve gotta admit that you are glad it is there.

Whatever you find your reliable thing to be, your job, your neighbor, your cat, your family, your creativity, your history, whatever it is, take this week to see it through the lens of love. If you need, you can refer to my post called Love after the Neptune fog clears. The Greeks defined love in terms of 6 kinds of love.  Use the coming universal weather to help you deepen your understanding of love.

With the moon in Taurus let yourself lean into something that clearly supports you and then see how many of the Greek aspects of love you can experience in this thing. Enjoy what you learn. Feel the truth of it. In a short time we will experience the mutable T-square that includes the Sun, Venus, Mercury and Jupiter in Virgo. Remember the movie One flew over the cuckoos nest? Now is the time to get ahead of your Nurse Ratched, mind the lessons from Mr. McMurphy and consider that the artist Rene Magritte asks you to consider things may not be what they seem to be.


In the midst of what you see as problematic, it can be difficult to recognize the opportunities. I can help you discover a new way of thinking that will assist you in managing and negotiating life’s obstacles. You will find that this new way of thinking provides you opportunities that you hadn’t previously noticed as well as affords you the confidence and desire to live your life in the driver’s seat.

Tami Satterfield, MSW, LCSW-C, NBCCH, HTP is a licensed psychotherapist who practices solution-oriented healing from a deep ecological perspective. Her specialities include hypnosis for anxiety, performance, and creativity. Sessions on-line or in Boulder, Colorado include cutting edge brain therapies that will change the way you think. Learn more at attentiontoliving.com

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What’s love got to do with it? Well Tina, just about everything. Saturn turns direct tomorrow while squaring Venus in Virgo. You can pretend you already know everything there is to know about love or you can be inspired to learn more. As that Neptune fog has been clearing this week, some things have become clear. I just heard from another healer who said her client expressed a great deal of clarity on an issue and then at the close of their session, proceeded to walk head on and smack-dab into a glass door!  Talk about shattering her illusions!

It is all about relationships right now and remember that relationships include all relationships- to yourself, to others, to your cat, to your garden, to your computer. They all start with you. If you examine each of them, even briefly, you may notice a common thread. Not seeing this common thread can be like running into a crystal clear wall.  You don’t know what you are up against until you hit it. Check that thread out, that fine line of common distinction is like the DNA of your relationship intellignence.

According to the Greeks there are 6 kinds of love. Eros love is equivillant to our concept of sexual passion and wild desire. Like in the old movies where he can’t contain himself any longer and he grabs her almost violently and kisses her long and hard. Today, in a court of law that might be considered assault.  But it is notion many of us were raised on.  The Greeks thought the idea of falling madly in love was dangerous and produced an irrational state of being. Is it clear to you that if you desire to fall madly in love that you may relinquish judgement? Are you running into that now?

Philia love is that deep, foundational friendship that develops when you have endured together and come out the other side feeling safe enough to share your deepest thoughts and feelings. It provides you strength to move forward with support and in collaboration. All for one and one for all. Can you see this in your life?

Ludus is that love connection that comes in flirtation. It is playful and verges on something dangerous, but falls short of any risk. It can feel thrilling, reminding you of all the possibilities in being alive. How much of your life do you see through this window or have you drawn the blinds to it?

Agape love is that universal loving kindness. The recognition that all sentient and non-sentient beings deserve respect. It is a love that understands a greater perspective. Can you witness that in your life or are you always looking at things under a microscope?

Pragma love is for the long haul and is experienced in time and over time. It requires patience and compassion. It favors growth and evolution. It arrives in the creation of something useful. Can you visualize what you are creating now and see what it will come to be in the future? Can you see how what you are creating is fashioned in love?

And now last, but far from least, there is Philautia love. It is that love that is for self, but is not selfish. Philautia love allows you to see yourself as a part of something larger then yourself. Philautia love understands the logic in self-love.  That if you are a part of something greater, in order to express love to the greater part, you must express it to yourself first. Without Philautia you can not express any form of love. Self-love is the foundation that the experience of receiving love is built upon.It isn’t possible to nurture the varieties of love or utilize the many sources of love without the experience of self-love first.

Do you regret the payments on your version of a fully loaded sports car that made you feel sexy? How do you reconcil that? Can you fall madly in love and still wake up in the morning feeling good? If your greatest friend in your life is your version of a Golden Retriever, is that okay? Can a human’s best friend inspire flirtation that may lead to dancing the night away, followed by waking up in the morning ready to tackle that new group project at work? Can you love your self enough to yes and no for the better good of yourself and others?  And what about technology, do you love to hate your computer, your phone, Facebook? Are you stuck in those kinds polarities in other places in your life?  Are you attracting opposites that are complimentary and bring balance, or do they remain polarized and work against each other?  Does the way you practice expressing love color the way you see love?

Love is more then you might think it is. Love is in the air. It is there for the taking. It is free and abundant. You might already be running smack-dab into it. Love is fun. Love is silly. Love feels good. Go ahead and shatter any illusions or delusions you have about love. Wake up and smell the coffee.  Come in out of the rain.  Notice the fog has lifted.  Free yourself to experience the breadth of love. Come and get your love.


In the midst of what you see as problematic, it can be difficult to recognize the opportunities. I can help you discover a new way of thinking that will assist you in managing and negotiating life’s obstacles. You will find that this new way of thinking provides you opportunities that you hadn’t previously noticed as well as affords you the confidence and desire to live your life in the driver’s seat.

Tami Satterfield, MSW, LCSW-C, NBCCH, HTP is a licensed psychotherapist who practices solution-oriented healing from a deep ecological perspective. Her specialities include hypnosis for anxiety, performance, and creativity. Sessions on-line or in Boulder, Colorado include cutting edge brain therapies that will change the way you think. Learn more at attentiontoliving.com

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We are over the new moon now, or, as Pink Floyd sang in 1973, the dark side of the moon. Now is a good time to take care with your communications. In fact, with the influence of Virgo you might even say it is critical. Let Neptune help you connect to your intuition and communicate what you might be scared of admitting.

Lately, much has been coming up around relationships. This can be a time that a lot of us are renegotiating those silent agreements that we have made with others. All relationships are based on agreements, but those most troublesome are the agreements that we do not voice. The ones we make unconsciously tend to more binding for us.

Let me take a minute to talk a little bit about loyalty. It is a good time to investigate your own loyalties as we head into the influence of Leo. Loyalty is a virtue, right? Josiah Royce suggests that loyalty is, “the heart of all the virtues, the central duty amongst all the duties.” He proposes, acording to Wikipedia, that it is the basic moral principle from which all other principles are derived.  He goes on to say that loyalty is “the willing and ongoing devotion of a person to a cause that it is not merely a casual interest, but a wholehearted commitment to the cause.”

Wow, sounds good. Basic moral principle, wholehearted commitment, that is good stuff, right?  But I would like you to consider how you might be wired to interpret loyalty.  Within your DNA you may carry the understanding of the word loyalty as it first relaties to the litteral and collective agreement of servitude between a King and his dutiful people. In that first loyalty there was no room for dispute, or even disagreement. If you haven’t done an update recently on loyalty, it may still be programmed in your cognitive brain as a dutiful agreement to something that is NOW in the past. Remember the present is constantly slipping into the past as it proceeds into the future. So any loyalty you have is an agreement to the past.

Now it is fine to be loyal.  In fact, it may be helpful, but my point is that it is only serviceable to the greater good when it is made and kept through your free will.  In other words, it is only useful to the greater good if you want to be loyal.  Consider that loyalty is an abstract quality that may not be physically possible and is more serviceable when viewed as a state of mind or attitude. Any agreements you make are best served from a good attitude or state of mind that includes your free will, and is free of suggestions that compel your behavior.

Right now the universal weather, in the ethers and on planet Earth, is ripe for renegotiation of relationships. Those with yourself, with people, with creatures, with the planet, with your past, with your future.  You name it and you have good support right now for renegotiation. It doesn’t have to be us and them.  We don’t necessarily have to fight change.

Use this time well. Communicate clearly using an assertive communication style. Express your thoughts when you are clear how they resonate with your emotions. Do they match? Or are there inconsistencies in what you think and what you emote? Are you not sure what you emote? What does your body tell you through it’s sensations? Are you sick to your stomach, is you heart racing ahead? Get to the bottom of the inconsistencies? What have you agreed to that undermines your basic sense of self? When you know these answers, you will know the foundation of the problem.  And you will likely have arrived at some past loyalty that no longer serves your best interest or the best interest of those around you.

Get some perspective. Can you ground yourself in the belief that life is a process and not a product? It is to be experienced. It is messy and always welcomes a bit of tidying up. Bring some balance to your life.

Go ahead and clean up those old agreements that are holding you to relationships that are loyal to past beliefs. Respect yourself, respect the other, and renegotiate the old terms. No need to necessarily throw the baby out with the bath water. It is okay. In the end, night follows day and day follows night. It is as it is. Be present to that NOW.


In the midst of what you see as problematic, it can be difficult to recognize the opportunities. I can help you discover a new way of thinking that will assist you in managing and negotiating life’s obstacles. You will find that this new way of thinking provides you opportunities that you hadn’t previously noticed as well as affords you the confidence and desire to live your life in the driver’s seat.

Tami Satterfield, MSW, LCSW-C, NBCCH, HTP is a licensed psychotherapist who practices solution-oriented healing from a deep ecological perspective. Her specialities include hypnosis for anxiety, performance, and creativity. Sessions on-line or in Boulder, Colorado include cutting edge brain therapies that will change the way you think. Learn more at attentiontoliving.com

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How do you write about something that people are afraid to see? How do you expose an undermining, but insidious, practice? How do you change peoples’ minds? How does a civilization heal from the wounds of abuse?

I cried when I read the letter.  The letter the courageous and intelligent woman wrote in response to a recent rape verdict in California.

I can’t even count the number of times I have been sexually harassed or violated. I never stopped to think about it. I never took the time to collect them up and consider their effect upon me. I didn’t want to. When I try now, I remember things I have forgotten, but surprisingly the forgetting of them hasn’t lessened their emotional response in my body. There was the time when I was 13 at a car dealership, there was the time I was 21 in my own apartment, there was the time I was 25 on a downtown street in Baltimore at 4 in the afternoon, when I was dressed in a suit to attend a meeting with the Mayor’s office. Then there is a splattering of random times; lewd remarks and gestures, condescending comments concerning my sexuality, unwelcome touch from people I didn’t know in public places. And still other times.  Times that I am still not comfortable enough with to strike the keys of my computer, to put the letters together to form the words that would make up the sentences of accounts as much as 0ver 40 years ago, but still too fresh to admit.

Yep, my chest is tight. I feel the emotion at my face and I steel myself against tears. It sucks to feel so vulnerable. It hurts to remember being violated simply because someone felt it was their privilege. Why does this happen? This question is most often answered with silence.

In my silence I have been complicit. I have been afraid to admit out loud the things that have happened.  Once at a slumber party, a brave girl told about how someone had hurt her.  A circle of 15 year old girls on sleeping bags stared silently at her until one girl said, “Oh that just happens,” and another echoed her and added, “Don’t make a big deal about it.”  Those girls, like me, perpetuated the silence.  All of us afraid of being judged, afraid of the shame of either what had happened or that we didn’t know how to make it not happen.

Some girls made sense of those experiences by playing them out and crafted their identities around them, some relinquished their senses of security in the world and drew themselves inward, and others, few and unfavored, found ways to speak out against such trespasses.  Honestly, I suppose I have done all three, but where I ended up feeling most whole was simply in the silence of it.   Best to forget about it, best not to make a big deal about it, best to believe it never really happened.  Even now writing this, I fear judgement and criticism.  And not because I have held my tongue, but because I dare suggest that I was hurt by someone’s forward or invasive advances.  Despite being a mandated reported and a trained mental health professional, I still feel doubt about the truth of what I am writing.  “Really?”  Some part of me challenges, “I think you are making this into more than it is.” But I am not.

I remember a discussion after work with a group of coworkers, that led to a particular revelations about the social worker who directed the children’s program at a domestic violence shelter. “You were raped,” we told her and she looked like she was only first learning it, even though a high percentage of the very children she helped had been assaulted themselves. Denial, at first an ally in trauma, but in time an obtuse, thick cloud that distorts our own perceptions about ourselves.

I want to say that while silence allows the perpetration of sexual violence, it is not the cause.  The cause lies in our deep rooted sense of entitlement.  Our percieved right to lord privilege of power over people, animals, and the planet completely destorts our understanding of love and respect.

I cried when I read the letter. I want to tell her that I am deeply sorry for what happen to her and for my small, but significant part in the silence that allowed her to be hurt. I want to say how brave she is, and that I am grateful for and respectful of her strength.  I admire her.

I was raised in a different generation. While the Women’s Movement provided me permission and modeling for speaking out about my right to dignity, I hadn’t been programmed that way. Sex was not a topic for discussion, even as it pertained to procreation.  Sex was alluded to as a woman’s duty.  It was a practical responsibility that straddled a razor-sharp distinction between pleasing a husband and falling into a gutter. Raised Catholic in a small midwestern town, normal feelings of sexual interest or pleasure were diminished to sinful perversions. A female body was either chaste or dirty.

But still, while that does inform my silence, I am over half a century old.  I saw Jodie Foster’s brilliant performance as Cheryl Araujoas in the 1983 gang rape movie called The Accused.  I watched the 1991 televised testimony of Anita Hill.  As a professional and as a woman, I have heard countless stories of sexual violence from woman, men, girls and boys.  I suppose what matters more than my silence now, is joining in with the many voices out there like the young woman who wrote the letter.  She was quoted saying, “This is a reason for all of us to speak even louder.”  And it is.

What is your story?  If you want, tell your story here in whatever way you like. Only this time, we won’t believe that, while the thing that happened is not normal, to talk about it is. It is normal to feel afraid, angry and sad when someone hurts you.  It is normal to tell other people when you are hurt.  It is normal to expose the person who hurt you.

Tami Boehle-Satterfield, MSW, LCSW-C, NBBCH, HTP, a licensed psychotherapist in Boulder Colorado at attentiontoliving.com has challenged herself in 2016 to post weekly about the unpopular topic of abuse. Learn more about Tami at attentiontoliving.com