I am always never singular in a sea of possibilities

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Artwork by Bill Sanderson, “Dna In All Living Things”

I am wishing to say one thing,
Incessantly telling another,
My faculties
Daft.
Am I slipping in my mind, forgetting
Or only now remembering?

What is that
Spilling over the earth’s edge?
A brilliant photon refracted,
Curled around a particle
Repeatedly
Illuminating The wave?

The wave!
Oh I, am zealot. A drumbeater forever
Preaching from a state of perpetual desire.
The wave! The wave!
No, not The wave! A wave.
A wave of utter realization.

Is all My life a mirror?
Is the world not dark,
Waiting blank like paper
My eternal mark, sparking the Big Bang?
Is it not forsaken,
Am I not marooned for your secret keeping?

Am I beginning?
Or only a dimming past?
Ghosting and milky,
One among a collection of shards —
A Broken sparkly
Looking glass.

You are not the moon
Towing me under again.
The clouds don’t know Me,
Dumbly,
Passing over Me.
Or is it Me, deaf?

No, I pray beneath my finely woven Hat,
Beached in defiance of the sun’s light,
Begging notice from the clouds.
A seagull
Crying
What about Me? Me? Me?

Headlong against an amniotic wave.
I am shelled in determination
Without Grace.
My feet claw for the sand.
When, just this morning
Did I become so crabby?

Generation after generation
Woven
Wrung out like a tight rope
Now unraveling,
Spilling a design.
Blood bursting through arduous veins.

Nerves on end, spidering outwards,
Grasping at sticky webs.
Thoughts spinning in circles,
Why, why, why?
Rorschach,
Instead of The perfectly replicated double helix chains.

i am me watching Me.
i am not a bottled message of chemicals
Reacting
As if
The Earth’s turning
Was an unforgiving mother shaking me loose.

Instead,
i am collected in
The smooth sand sound
Shifting from particle to wave,
Wave,
Wave.

I am a quantum entity.
Barely,
Hardly, to almost no degree,
A part of the equation,
And still
i am.

March 11, 2017

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