Metamorphosis of Narcissus 1937 by Salvador Dalí 1904-1989
Things are moving fast behind the scenes right now. You might notice some sensations of this seeping in. It feels uncomfortable. It feels scary. And just so you know, closing your eyes won’t make it go away. In fact just the opposite is true.
I had a dream recently, really it was a nightmare. In the dream, I was met at every turn with perversity. And then I came to a crossroads of sorts. There were two doors. I had two choices. The door to my left was familiar to me. I knew it led to a place that went deeper and deeper into itself. I knew that if I walked the halls of that place, it would morph from a school, to a hospital, to a hotel. I knew that in that place I was always too late and then I always had to wait. That place was always changing, but it was always the same. In my dream I thought, “That place goes no where.”
The door to the right was substantial. It was made of solid old growth oak. It looked inviting, but as I got closer something didn’t feel right. In fact something felt terribly wrong. I turned around and looked from where I had come. That was no good either. The streets behind me were apocalyptic. I was stuck. I couldn’t go to the left, or the right, and I certainly couldn’t turn around.
I am in hell, I thought and the only possible way out was the way I was afraid to explore. I breathed deeply and carefully pushed the big door open just a crack. Yep. As I suspected it was utter and complete darkness, an eternity of pitch black. I looked back to the infernal streets filled with smoke from the fires of hell. There were malevolent people on the hills and zombies in the streets. I was at some edge of darkness. What choice did I have?
I stepped inside the door into the nothingness. There was nothing but nothing. There was nothing at my feet, I hovered in the blackness. Without something beneath my feet it was impossible to advance forward. My heart was racing and my breath was labored. “Breathe,” I told myself. “You can do this,” I counseled even in my sleep. I told myself, “Look into the darkness. Let yourself adjust and see what you can see.” And so I did.
Was there no hope? Was I to be completely impoverished? In the utter blackness, it was a horror show. It couldn’t have been worse if it had been Hieronymus Bosch’s Last Judgement. In my dream, I was paralyzed by the fear of some pointed reckoning that seemed to have an infinite trajectory. “Open your eyes,” I told myself. “If you want out of hell, open your eyes.”
The moon has shifted from Scorpio and into Sagittarius. In the thick of it there is always hope of a promising new reality. If the Scorpio energy has lured you deep into your own darkness, the New Moon in Sagittarius can signal you out into our own light. Pay attention with the acute senses of the blind, and then open your eyes to the information you have afforded yourself. See where you are. Find your feet even in the darkest of nights. Get good balance for perspective on your future.
There is no going back. There never was. The past only turns within itself and the future is only an idea of something not yet known. Don’t make it a nightmare. Don’t be an addict. Don’t hang out at crossroads for long. You can have more than two choices. Open your eyes to the dawn of this day. This is where you live your life. Not in the damnation of your past, not in the fear of the unknown future. Right here. Right now. Open your eyes. Open your eyes and move forward.
In the midst of what you see as problematic, it can be difficult to recognize the opportunities. I can help you discover a new way of thinking that will assist you in managing and negotiating life’s obstacles. You will find that this new way of thinking provides you opportunities that you hadn’t previously noticed as well as affords you the confidence and desire to live your life in the driver’s seat.
Tami Satterfield, MSW, LCSW-C, NBCCH, HTP is a licensed psychotherapist who practices solution-oriented healing from a deep ecological perspective. Her specialities include hypnosis for anxiety, performance, and creativity. Sessions on-line or in Boulder, Colorado include cutting edge brain therapies that will change the way you think. Learn more at attentiontoliving.com