Mercury went retrograde this week and I am already having issues with communication. I understood tht Mercury was going retrograde. I saw it on my calendar and very matter of factly I thought, “Okay, so this is going to happen and now I am prepared.” And, like white on rice, and, as sure as the day is long, there was trouble. It started first with my email correspondances, expanded to other aspects of my Comcast service, and then progressed into my communication with a human being at Comcast. I was surprised at how I felt by the end of the day. I figured that since I had thought about the retrograde, I wouldn’t feel so much about what might occur during the retrograde. Afterall, I had thought about it. Silly me.
I understand that a human being thinks between 40,000 – 70,000 thoughts a day. I understand that those very thoughts inform the emotions that a human being experiences. I understand that those emotional experiences inform a human being’s physiology. I understand that a human being’s physiology inspires their reality. I understand it, but sometimes I don’t know it.
Hmm, pause for consideration.
The difference between understanding something and knowing it is profound. Understanding something requires the acquisition of information in order to arrange it into a logical sequence that can then be determined reasonable. So, it is true that I do understand the scientific, as well as the practical applications of the above described process. But sometimes I don’t “know” it. Sometimes I forget to live my life alive in my body, and instead I think my way through my life as if it is a reasonable journey in my head. That is when there is trouble.
We are shifting today into a Sun, Saturn, Neptune square. What does that mean? It means that if you are the betting kind, you can bet that my ego has better than 50/50 odds of getting in my way.
Now, this has never happened to me before. My ego has never gotten the best of me. I have never thought I knew exactly how something would go, and then lived like my reasoning was the God’s honest truth. I mean, I am always a very thoughtful person. I am sure that earlier this week when the Comcast service wouldn’t work and it became clear that I would have to call Comcast, that I understood that it would be a long drawn-out battle of wits regarding the trouble. And I understood all of that even before I punched the number in my phone. I understood that there would be a prompt for my personal information that would be repeated by an operator and then again repeated by the person of higher authority that I would be transferred to 20 minutes into the call. I understood all of that. I did. I understood the reality of my life the instance my service faultered. I understood everything.
But did I know? Did I feel my anxiety at the first indication of trouble and allow my brain with my body to process that anxiety? Did I feel the steady rise of my blood pressure through out the 40 minute call and allow my brain with my body to process my anger? Did I feel the heartfelt sadness that inspired ruminating thoughts about Comcast well past the restoration of my service and allow my brain with my body to process the sorrow of a break in communication? Nope. I sure didn’t. I was in my head where I think I know everything, but I really know nothing.
I was in my head where I think too much about thinking about it. I was in my head where I pay little attention to how I feel. If I had paid attention to my thoughts and my feelings, I would have known that without more consciousness, the call would likely be tough. I would have known that without more consciousness, the call could be just as I thought it to be. If I had paid better attention to what I thought, how I emoted, and the sensations in my body, I may have known that I was already well into playing my part in creating a dissatisfactory experience for myself. The experience where I think, “this is trouble,” then I feel afraid, then I think “this won’t go well,” then I feel angry, then I act defensively, then I think repeatedly, “is it me or is it them?” and then I feel sad and disconnected. If I had known more information instead of only thinking I understood, I might have known that it was in my best interest to shift into a more comfortable position before getting on that Comcast bus.
Moving forward: 1. Mind your nevers and always. 2. Mind the size of your britches – just because you think it, doesn’t make it real. 3. Let yourself feel the way you feel. 4. Trust that there is a wealth of information in your emotions and sensations in your body. 5. Let your thoughts, emotions, and sensations in your body show you more then you think.
Go ahead. Know more than you think you do? Now what do you want to do about your call to Comcast?
Note for those of you waiting in line at the Love Shack:
I am pulling double duty on this one and if you want you can too. Are you working Operation Love? If so, re-read this through the lens of love and have the Greeks by your side. What perceived notions do you have about yourself concerning love? Do you believe them? Are they real or do you believe (think) they are real? Now, forget about what you think. What do you feel about what the Greek Chorus has to say? Now what do you know?
In the midst of what you see as problematic, it can be difficult to recognize the opportunities. I can help you discover a new way of thinking that will assist you in managing and negotiating life’s obstacles. You will find that this new way of thinking provides you opportunities that you hadn’t previously noticed as well as affords you the confidence and desire to live your life in the driver’s seat.
Tami Satterfield, MSW, LCSW-C, NBCCH, HTP is a licensed psychotherapist who practices solution-oriented healing from a deep ecological perspective. Her specialities include hypnosis for anxiety, performance, and creativity. Sessions on-line or in Boulder, Colorado include cutting edge brain therapies that will change the way you think. Learn more at attentiontoliving.com