What mountain do you want to die on?


We are all liars.  It sounds grim, I know, but it is true.  It starts with the lies we tell ourselves, and those begin about the time we learn the meaning of the word “no.”  

“What? This is an outrage!  What do you mean that I can’t have what I want?”  We drop to the ground, fists pounding the earth, feet kicking furiously against the injustice of it all.

What we are really objecting to is the realization that we are not singular, separate, or fixed.  The truth is that we exist experientially, and this causes us to resist the physical reality of that very situation.  Why?  Because if we admitted to ourselves that we were, in fact, not singular, separate, or fixed, it would mean that we are of the collective and therefore are dynamic.  And what does that mean to us?  It means that our limbic brain and our neocortex have conspired to convince us to lie to ourselves about the 100% truth of the greatest matter concerning our existence: WE ARE GOING TO DIE.  We are.  I am sorry if this is the first you are hearing this fact.

This could be a tough week to learn that we are going to die: with Neptune turning retrograde and increasing that mutable T-square; with Mars in Scorpio going for the jugular; and with Mercury, Gemini, and Saturn playing head games.  There is more, but do we really need to hear more?  Isn’t it enough to be confronted this week with the greatest lie of all, the one where we convince ourselves everyday that we are not going to die. 

This fundamental fact (I won’t say it again, but you know to which that I am referring) is balanced by our fundamental mind-skewing that allows our reptilian brains to let us go about living while we are able.  How else would we get out of bed?  

How do we do it?  How do we lie to ourselves?  Do we deaden our reality with mindaltering practices, the likes of more then just drugs, alcohol, and food?  Are we caught up in the distractions of how to measure the polarities of good and bad or right and wrong?  Or are we drinking some concoction that allows us to defend against the truth of our own mortality by projecting our own entitlement above all?  Ouch!  But if that sounds harsh, we might want to consider why it packs such a punch.  Just because we figured out how to get out of bed and rise above the truth of our own existence, that doesn’t mean that we are entitled.

Bottom line: the point of this week is not to wreak havoc on our life. The point of this week is to confront our perpetual ignorance.  Let Scorpio take us deep into it.  And this week let’s not just consider it, let’s let the warrior in Mars guide us to confront our own mortalities. This week, let’s fight for our lives for the sake of all goodness.  And then – yes I am a little fired up here – and then let’s decide, and I mean decide, for the sake of of it all decide, each of us decide, “What do we want to do about it?”  What do we want to do about the fact that we are alive on planet earth.  We are not singular; we are a part of a greater ecosystem.  We are not separate; we are a part of a greater ecosystem.  We are not fixed; we are dynamic in a dynamic ecosystem.  

So here it is. The truth of it all always eludes us. How could we possible know anything for certain? We are a part of something so big we can’t even fathom it. And if that doesn’t blow your mind – this stupendous thing we are a part of  – it is changing all the time. And at the same time that it is always changing –  we are always changing too.  Holy smokes, for sure!  

This week let’s drop the idealistic veil, stop distracting ourselves and get real.  Let’s prepare to die with honor, dignity, and love. Let’s stop stepping on ants and pretending that it doesn’t matter.  Let’s stop perpetuating small acts of self-hostility that lead to big shifts in the collective consciousness. Let’s live with honor, dignity and love.  After all, that is the only way to prepare to die a good death.

Okay, this is almost over.  I think I hear hubby coming down the hall.  He will help me up off the floor. Besides my fists are feeling a bit raw and I think I scuffed my pedicure.


In the midst of what you see as problematic, it can be difficult to recognize the opportunities. I can help you discover a new way of thinking that will assist you in managing and negotiating life’s obstacles. You will find that this new way of thinking provides you opportunities that you hadn’t previously noticed as well as affords you the confidence and desire to live your life in the driver’s seat.

Tami Satterfield, MSW, LCSW-C, NBCCH, HTP is a licensed psychotherapist who practices solution-oriented healing from a deep ecological perspective. Her specialities include hypnosis for anxiety, performance, and creativity. Sessions on-line or in Boulder, Colorado include cutting edge brain therapies that will change the way you think. Learn more at attentiontoliving.com

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