Sometimes I forget that I am more than I think I am.

incredible-bodypainting-art
Artwork by Johannes Stoetter

Thursday is the full moon in Scorpio. Some deep stuff is finally dug out. I am a deep ecological therapist. That means that I am interested in a person’s ecology from their cells all the way out to the cosmos.  That is a lot of ground to cover.  But it can be surprising how manageable it is, once you discover the patterns.

So, some deep stuff is coming up. I see it everywhere. In the tulips and daffodils. In the budding trees. In the sleepy bears awakening from the likes of a Rip Van Winkle nap. This stuff coming up feels a little like spring cleaning. I am not even thinking to much about it. Just taking it in and letting it go.

What I am doing, though, is feeling.

I am feeling how good it feels to finally awaken to some facts. Some facts that previously were hard for me to believe. I didn’t even know that I was struggling to believe them. I thought I believed them. I was deciding things about them. I was thinking about them and considering them, as I thought about my future. But that was only half of it. That was only the thinking part, and it was a lot of thinking! I was stuck in my head. Picture me as nothing but a big head – some kind of Thanksgiving day parade balloon of myself.  My head was so big with thinking, that I began to misunderstand that is was the universe.

I was in my own way. Thinking, thinking, thinking! “You better think about it,” someone once said to me, but I was rarely taught to consider how it made me feel. And the way out of my own way?  The way out of the hamster wheel of thinking?  The way out of mistaking my thinking as real?  The way out of only half living my life?

The way out, is inside the body. So, I dropped into my body and notice that while I thought I could believe these facts, my system was in shock. My system was stuck in the past. I was like a deer caught in headlights over this matter. I couldn’t move. What I was really thinking was, “I can’t believe this happened.”

What can’t you believe happened? Take this week and let it come up. Embrace the promise of it. See it. And then think first: maybe I can believe this happened, then think: I believe this happened, and finally think: this happened.

Let spring help you re-birth into the truth of your life with promise and hope. Start tending the garden that is really your life. Feel how it feels to be alive. Life is messy. Go ahead and get dirty. It is not as bad as you think.

Tami Satterfield is a licensed psychotherapist who practices solution-oriented healing from a deep ecological perspective. Her specialities include hypnosis for anxiety, performance, and creativity. Sessions on-line or in Boulder, Colorado include cutting edge brain therapies that will change the way you think. Learn more at attentiontoliving.com

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