What are the hardest things to love about you? Something you’ve done? Something you are doing? A way you feel or think? What does it feel like to even allow yourself to consider what these things might be? What do you think of how you feel about it?
Give yourself a chance. Take a moment and write down as many of these as you can. I know, stay with me though. Go ahead and make the list as quickly as possible with as little thought possible to what you are writing down.
The hardest things for me to love about myself are:
Now, look at the list. As you look at it, you might be able to appreciate why you belief that someone like yourself is not deserving of genuine love. You might notice your own aversion to the list and then to yourself. This resistance can cause you to become fractured, rejecting the “unloveable” parts of yourself.
Take another moment. For yourself, take another moment. Breathe. Ask the question, “Why did I …?” and allow yourself to sit still. Go ahead and be with that of which you resist. Allow it to grow bigger within you. Really feel what you are fighting. Notice how complicated it is. Allow yourself to learn “why.” Breathe. Ask the question, “What do I want to do about what I just learned?”
For example: A man is very critical of his wife’s interactions with other men at social gatherings. He thinks she pays too much attention to other men when she should be paying attention to him. The man does not like that he feels angry towards his wife when he thinks about the times when he believed she didn’t pay enough attention to him. He realizes that when he feels this way, he is thinking that she doesn’t love him enough and that makes him angry. When he asks himself why, he learns that he is afraid she will abandon him. He realizes that this feeling is a familiar one with it’s roots reaching deeply into his past. At this juncture, he can decide what HE wants to do about it. He can appreciate his own responsibility for this feeling, consider that relief from the feelings has little-to-nothing to do with his wife, and set about doing something different- forgiving and loving himself. By directly confronted his underlying fear, he can release himself from the thought pattern that was supporting a hidden belief of unworthiness. The belief of unloveable.
Thinking of yourself as unworthy of love is a thought. If you think it over and over it becomes a belief. Beliefs guide our thoughts, thoughts inform our emotions, and emotions inform our physiology. This is how you make a thought your reality, you believe it is so and you literally create it’s existence, first in your own body. It is nice to know that any thought can be replaced by a different thought, and therefore changing your world- and then the world. One thought at a time.
So now, adjust your thought of being fundamentally flawed and unworthy of love with the thought, that regardless of your past experiences, you can now take full responsibility for your life. Use the power of this to attract love into your life. When you are able to accomplish this, you will feel differently about yourself, and other people will feel differently about you. Love is a healing energy. Bring your consciousness to it. Recognize exactly what you are resisting, and recognize IT as what stands between you and the experience of love. Ask yourself, “What do I want to do about that?” And then, do it!
March 23, 2014